It is of great comfort to my wife and I that we know that we do not serve alone. We serve on a team. We serve as a part of a body. We’re not isolated; we’re a part of a group of people who are working together to honor the Lord at Big Valley Grace, and it’s a real privilege to do that. You can take these cards at the end of the gathering — place those in the black boxes that are next to every exit — and thank you for engaging in this moment.

As we turn our attention to the Scriptures, we’re going to be in Ephesians chapter 5 today. And we are in the month of February; we’re continuing to make progress. You can’t be at Big Valley Grace for too many weekends and not hear about our God-sized goal. We’ve taken the purpose of our church — to glorify God — and the mission of our church — love God, love people, make disciples — we’ve put them together into a God-sized goal, and we’re saying we want to give God as much glory as we can through accomplishing our mission as fully as we can. So we want to have a God-sized goal: to glorify God through exponential discipleship — disciples making disciples making disciples making disciples. And this series, “Pass It On,” is about passing on being a disciple of Jesus.

So when we talk about “pass it on,” if I were to explain it simply: we want to help another person follow Jesus as a fellow learner. The word “disciple” means learner, and we are following Jesus as a learner, and we want to help another person follow Jesus as a fellow learner.

The Series Roadmap

In the month of February we laid out this series in this way. First week, we looked at Paul, Timothy, faithful men, and others, and the chain reaction of discipleship that we saw in those relationships — we looked at that last week, and if you missed that, I think it would be helpful for you to go onto our website and watch it. I think it would be helpful for you, in connection with the vision of our church and what we’re trying to accomplish as a whole as a church, for you to see that passage and to hear that teaching, and I would encourage you to take advantage of it.

Today we’re looking at Ephesians 5 — we’re looking at Christ and the church, and then the illustration of husbands and wives. And as some of us have sported the jersey of our team today, we’re going to be essentially looking at the home team. Next week we’re going to be looking at love your actual neighbor — love your neighbor as yourself, the Good Samaritan, the issue of showing mercy, and how acts of mercy open up opportunities for discipleship. And then on the fourth week we’re going to be in Ephesians 4, looking at the next generation, how the church is healthy, how the church grows to be healthy, and then how the church helps the next generation to grow to be healthy. That’s also the weekend we’re celebrating our halfway point with the building for kids and students with our Built to Last celebration.

The Trade Deadline and the Spiritual Trade

So we’re going to have some fun today, considering that it’s Super Bowl Sunday. And if Super Bowl Sunday is like a thing to you, you’re going to really enjoy the leading illustration throughout our time of teaching. And if Super Bowl Sunday is not really a thing for you, you’re going to learn to enjoy it today throughout our teaching, because I’m using this as the guiding illustration throughout. So you’re either going to love it or leave it when we get done here.

So regarding the Super Bowl — the Super Bowl’s today, but there was a point before today that was extremely important to get to today, and it is called the National Football League trade deadline. And the National Football League trade deadline was Tuesday, November 5th at 4:00 PM Eastern time. And it was at that moment in the season that every team had to ask this question: do we have all the players on this team that we need to win the Super Bowl? They had to make the decision of who was on their team, and did they have the right members of the team so that they could make it to today. And you will notice that my team did not, because my team is at the beach this weekend — they’re not at the Super Bowl.

Practically, how does this work in a family like mine? Well, if you hang out at my house during football season, it’s like SportsCenter on the weekend. Every one of my kids likes a different team. My wife and I were Niners fans; my oldest son, he’s a Niners fan; my second oldest son, he’s a Steelers fan — we got any Steelers fans in the room? Okay, we got a Steelers fan right there. Then my third oldest son is a Niners fan, and then my fourth oldest son’s a Packers fan — we got a Packers fan right there. And then my daughter — my fifth child, my daughter — she hasn’t really expressed interest in football, but if she did, she’d pick one that’s a horse, because she loves horses. So maybe she’s a maybe — or she might be a Colts fan, I don’t know. But then my next oldest son, he is a Broncos fan — do we have any Broncos fans in the house today? Oh, we got a Broncos fan right there, okay. And then my next daughter, my second oldest daughter, she just got a Patrick Mahomes jersey, so I think we now have a Chiefs fan — as of today I think we got a Chiefs fan. And then my youngest son, he’s a Seahawks fan — do we have any Seahawks fans? Right up there, all right. So you can imagine what happens at the trade deadline in my house, because this is literally what goes down: they’ll be wearing their jersey, and they find out their team traded the player they’re wearing — and he got traded to their brother’s team. And so now all of a sudden they’re considering their favorite player that they’re wearing the jersey of, and now they’re like, he’s on my brother’s team now. And there’s just disgust. It’s just, what do I do with this? Does anybody need a rag to wash the car? It’s just this awesome moment at the trade deadline where everyone’s discouraged, because you thought you had a team and now you don’t know who’s on your team.

Well, when we come to discipleship, when we come to a relationship with Jesus, there is a massive trade that takes place. And in the book of Ephesians it’s described in the first chapter — in Ephesians 1:13, before we get into Ephesians 5 — this is what it says: “In him, in Jesus — you also, when you heard the word of truth” — so when the gospel comes to you, when the message of Jesus comes to you, you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation — “and you believed in him, [you] were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit.” In Jesus Christ there is a spiritual trade that takes place in the work of redemption, and the spiritual trade is this: you trade spiritual death for spiritual life. That is the trade. You trade spiritual death for spiritual life, and that spiritual life is in Jesus. And it says that they “were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit.” So what does it mean — how does the Holy Spirit of God impact disciples of Jesus? This term, “sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,” is the proof, the guarantee, that you have made the trade from spiritual death to spiritual life. And the presence of the Holy Spirit of God being sealed permanently on your life is the proof that you have life in Jesus Christ. In a football analogy, it would be like God’s guaranteed contract to you. The Holy Spirit of God on your life is God saying, “I am going to fulfill my commitment to you, and the proof that I’m going to fulfill my commitment to you is the Holy Spirit of God sealed on your life.”

So when we come to Ephesians 5, we’re going to look at Ephesians 5:18 through the end of the chapter, and we’re going to look at how the Holy Spirit of God impacts disciples of Jesus — disciples who are making disciples. How does the Holy Spirit of God change the person’s life? So in Ephesians 5:18 through 21 it says: “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

So on God’s team — on Team God — you can look at the Holy Spirit in a few different ways. You can look at the Holy Spirit as the agent: he is the one who is bringing the transaction together. You can look at the Holy Spirit as the trainer: he is the one who is working with the word of God in a person’s life to bring about the transformation. And what is the goal? The goal is that every person who’s a part of Jesus Christ would experience a full transformation, to be made into the image and the likeness of Jesus Christ. The goal is that every player experiences full transformation in Jesus Christ.

Filled by the Spirit

So we’ll break this into two categories from this section of the passage. The first is that disciples of Jesus are filled by the Holy Spirit of God. The stuff of God — the stuff of the Holy Spirit of God — that’s what we need in us. That’s what we need to be filled with in our lives — the substance of our lives. What is needed for the substance of our lives is that we would be filled by the Holy Spirit of God. God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves, and we need his Spirit to do it. It describes it in this way: “Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.” So this is a description of what is the controlling agent. It’s using an example of one potential controlling agent, and that’s wine. And it’s not that the substance of wine is the problem; it’s that being drunk with wine is the problem. And it’s giving this as one example, but it could be a different liquid than wine that is a problem; it could be a different chemical compound than wine that is a problem; it could be something else that is controlling. It could be a relationship that’s controlling; it could be a job that is controlling; it could be an addiction that’s controlling, or an obsession that’s controlling. The point here is that the term “drunk” is showing wine becomes the controlling agent, and there’s not supposed to be another controlling agent, because that’s debauchery. But “being filled with the Spirit” — this is when the Spirit is going to be the controlling agent in our life. Be filled with the Spirit: the Spirit of God being the controlling agent in our life.

Affected by the Spirit

The second category: disciples of Jesus are affected by the Holy Spirit of God. So not only are we filled by the Holy Spirit of God, but because the Holy Spirit of God is the controlling agent, it brings a huge effect into our life. Now, we all try to make changes in our life in our own power, and to some degree there are certain things that we can do in our own power to bring about change. But true transformation in our life is only available through the power of the Holy Spirit of God to work in our life. And so if we want to see true transformation happen, it’s got to come — the changes have to come because the Holy Spirit of God is bringing it into our life.

So it says — listen to some of the ways that a person has changed. Verse 19: “addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing, making melody to the Lord with your heart.” When a person is filled by the Holy Spirit of God, there’s an effect that takes place in their life, and they begin to talk to one another different and address one another different. They use the Scriptures; they use the psalms; they use hymns, spiritual songs; they are singing together; they’re making melody to the Lord in their heart together.

Consider for a moment: where do you observe people sing together in culture? Well, what’s interesting is later today, during the Super Bowl, there’s going to be some people singing together. It’s going to look very different than this verse. They’re going to be addressing one another in the national anthem, and then they’re going to be singing team cheers, and half of the group is going to be singing victory songs and the other half is going to be singing defeat songs, and they’re going to be making melody to their team, right, with their heart. But what about when we come together in a gathering for worship? It’s quite different. We come together to worship Jesus Christ, to glorify Jesus Christ, to address one another in psalms for the glory of Christ, not our own. We use hymns and spiritual songs to bring glory to Christ, not ourselves. We sing and make melody to the Lord with our hearts for his pleasure, for his glory, to lift up the name of Jesus Christ.

Another effect that takes place is in verse 20: “giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Giving thanks always — this is what it looks like when a person’s filled by the Holy Spirit of God and the Holy Spirit of God has an effect in their life, and that effect is to give thanks. In our culture, where do you observe people giving thanks? Don’t point to Thanksgiving — that’s where everybody cheats, right? It’s at Thanksgiving time, the culture cheats, and everybody all of a sudden is thankful. How about on a regular day — how do you observe in our culture people giving thanks? Well, later today, during the Super Bowl, people are going to give thanks when their team does good, right, and when the refs make the call that they like. And if that doesn’t happen, then they’re going to use the name of God the Father and the name of the Lord Jesus Christ in vain, right? That’s what’s going to happen later today because of the Super Bowl. But it’s quite different in worship. It’s different when we come together and worship, because it is possible, no matter what the circumstances are that we face, that we can give thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

There’s more effect that takes place in the life of someone who’s filled by the Holy Spirit of God. It says they “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” — in verse 21, “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” And so we come together in worship as the body of Christ, and I submit to you and you submit to me; we submit to one another as the body of Christ, understanding there is one head, only one head of the body, and that head is Jesus Christ. And so we submit to one another as members of the body underneath the leadership of Jesus Christ, who’s the head. This is the opposite of what will happen later today in the Super Bowl. There’s not going to be anyone submitting to anyone. It’s going to be a stadium and houses and places where people are watching the game all over the nation and the world, where no one’s submitting to anyone — everyone has their own way, everyone has their own thought on how it’s supposed to be. But that’s not how it is when we come to worship the Lord. The thought of how it’s supposed to be is not our own — it’s God’s. He’s the one who’s got the truth; he’s the one who has the standard; and we’re submitting to him, submitting to his leadership.

So these are massive changes that take place in the life of a believer. The Holy Spirit of God fills and affects disciples of Jesus so that we sing, give thanks, and submit as the body of Jesus Christ. And when people look at us, we should look like that, and that should look very different than our culture. And so we’ve got to encourage one another: let’s submit to the Lord together, let’s be led by the Lord together, let’s sing together, let’s give thanks together, let’s submit together as the body of Jesus Christ, let’s be led by the Lord, and let’s be different. Let’s be different — a difference that is caused because the Holy Spirit of God has brought a transformation in our life.

Now, consider this passage from Revelation 7 if it was about the Super Bowl: “After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude was in a stadium, and no one knew how many people were there, from every state in the United States, from every division in the NFL, and all kinds of peoples and languages. They were standing before the football field and before their team and their quarterback, and half of them were wearing red and black and the other half were wearing green and black, and they had that number one sign — you know that football thing, that number one thing — they were holding that in their hand, and they’re crying out with a loud voice, and half are saying, hey, we want the Chiefs to win, and the other half are saying, hey, we want the Eagles to win.” Imagine that — doesn’t sound too different than probably what we’re going to observe this afternoon. But this is what Revelation 7:9 actually says: “After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, [they were] standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, crying out with a loud voice, ‘Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!’” The Holy Spirit of God fills and affects disciples of Jesus so that we sing, we give thanks, we submit as the body of Christ.

Christ and the Church: The Instructions to Wives and Husbands

So what does it look like when the Holy Spirit of God fills and affects two disciples of Jesus — a man and a woman — who are married? And I just want to note, it was interesting that I felt the need to put the words “a man and a woman” in this statement. I found that interesting, that I felt the need to do that. What does it look like when the Holy Spirit of God fills and affects two disciples of Jesus — a man and a woman — who are married — in a culture that has no standard for marriage? We need this truth from Ephesians 5. We need to not be ashamed of it; we need to not back down from it. The church is a pillar and a buttress of the truth; we need to hold up the truth. It’s God’s standard, and no matter how much we struggle to live out what we’re about to read, we need to not dumb down the standard to our level, but we need to keep the standard high where God places it. And we need to encourage one another: let’s keep following Jesus, let’s keep submitting to the Lord, let’s keep going after the Lord together.

This is what Ephesians 5, verses 22 through 33, says: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

In May, Lord willing, that we make it there, my wife and I will have been married for 25 years. And as two married people, what made up our marriage? Well, I am a sinner who needs the grace of Jesus to follow Jesus, to become a husband. And my wife is a sinner — less than me — she’s a sinner who needs the grace of Jesus to follow Jesus and to be a wife who follows Jesus. And so you have two people who are sinners who need the grace of Jesus to follow Jesus coming together to be married. And in this almost 25 years, as we look back at what our story is, there are many places that mark pretty significant places of failure for us, where it’s not gone well and it’s been hard. But we also look back and are able to see very significant places where — where we brought failure, the Lord brought redemption; where we brought sin, the Lord brought grace. And he worked in our lives to do something in us, to not leave us where we are, but to encourage us to continue to come after him. And that would be, hopefully, the heart that you hear from me today — that we would encourage one another to continue to follow Jesus Christ.

So, the Holy Spirit of God fills and affects a wife — a disciple of Jesus. And what I’m going to explain here is going to sound very, very extreme; it’s going to be stark contrast to what we see in our culture right now. In verse 22 it says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands,” and this is a description of voluntary submission within a marriage. A woman who would have heard this in Greco-Roman first-century culture — this message would have been incredibly liberating. And the reason for that is, in that culture there would not have been voluntary submission within a marriage. It wouldn’t have been voluntary; it would have been something other than voluntary — it would have been forced. In that culture, when Paul now gives this instruction to those in Ephesus — “wives, submit to your own husbands” — that narrows it down to one: that a wife is submitting to one man, her husband, which also would have been very different in that culture. This is about voluntary submission within a marriage: wives, submit to your own husbands.

The next verse says wives should submit “in everything” to their husbands, and this is describing a Christlike submission within a marriage. And I’ll explain it in this way: the word “everything” here is not to mean a compulsion to act sinfully. What I mean by that is, I as a husband cannot ask my wife to do something that is sinful. So this is not an instruction that wives should submit in even the things that the husband asks that are sinful and not God-honoring. So what does the word “everything” mean? Well, this is in all areas of life, but not to sin and disobey the Lord. So wives should submit in everything to their husbands, and husbands have a responsibility to lead in such a way to where the everything is joy-giving — because it’s God-honoring, and it’s a Christlike submission within a marriage.

And the next: “let the wife see that she respects her husband.” This is an accountable submission within a marriage. The reason I’m using the term “accountable” is because the husband — and we’re going to talk about this in just a moment — the husband is held accountable for the marriage. We’re going to look at this in the next section: the husband is held accountable by God for the marriage, which means the husband has a role and a responsibility that’s been given by the Lord. And so when the wife is respecting a husband, the wife is respecting someone who’s been given a God-given responsibility to lead. And so it’s respecting a position that’s been given by God. It’s also interesting that the passage describes that the greatest need a husband has is to be respected by his wife, and it’s an accountable submission within marriage.

Now, the Holy Spirit of God fills and affects a husband — also a disciple of Jesus. And again, this is going to sound extreme, and it’s going to sound like it’s in stark contrast to marriage in our culture. In verse 25 it says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This is a description of sacrificial love within a marriage. And a man who would have heard this in Greco-Roman first-century culture — this would have sounded like the opposite of what they understood they were to do. For instance, that man may have heard, “I need to have my wife love me, and I need to have my wife give herself up for me,” because that’s what our culture says should happen. And this is the opposite of that. Paul is writing to those in Ephesus — it’s a pagan culture — and he’s saying, no, you’ve got to do the opposite of what you see in the culture. And husbands, you’re going to love your wives, and the way you’re going to love your wives is: you’re going to look at the way that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. And what does that mean? That means we turn here, we look there — that’s how we’re able to see what it means that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Well, Christ had the highest form of sacrificial love that’s ever been expressed. And so the instruction here is to have sacrificial love within a marriage: husbands, love your wives — it’s sacrificial love, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Second, in verses 26 and 27: “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” So this is a sanctifying love within a marriage. And some key terms here are “washing of water” and “with the word.” And this term “washing of water,” here — this is an illustration about a husband and a wife and the coming together in a marriage — it is possible that this washing of water is to reflect the idea of a wedding bath that is in preparation for the wedding. And the purpose of the wedding bath is to bring beauty, to bring presentation, purity, to the bride, to be presented for the wedding as pure. And then “with the word” — when we think about “with the word,” it makes me think about a prayer that Jesus prays in John 17:17–19: “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also might be sanctified in the truth.” And so it is a sanctifying love within a marriage: “that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself” — again, this is the action of Jesus — “without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”

The third is in verses 28 through 31: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’” This is a satisfying love within a marriage. So it’s the concept of: in your body you are thirsty, you satisfy it by drinking water; in your body you are hungry, you satisfy your hunger by eating food; in your body you are tired, you satisfy your need for rest by sleeping; you take care of your person. We’re going to talk more about this next week in the idea of love your neighbor as yourself — this is that concept: love your neighbor as yourself, the way that you would take care of yourself. And so the husband is to seek — not only for me to be satisfied in my person, but how can I love my wife in a way to where my wife is satisfied in her person? And it goes back all the way to the creation account: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is back from the order of creation — from when God created man, when God created women — this is where this is getting pulled from. So it’s in the way that God has made us to be.

The Ultimate Picture and Purpose of Marriage

So God now uses this illustration — he uses marriage as an illustration. These are two disciples of Jesus, and when we now unpack the illustration, it will help us understand the instructions to wives and the instructions to husbands — again, people who are being filled by the Spirit of God, and their lives have been affected by the Spirit of God. He says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

My wife and I have a date spot. Our date spot is the front room in our house — it’s like a formal sitting room. And so we end almost every day sitting in that room together, and it is super consistent that the discussions we end up having in that date spot are, as we are talking: what does the Lord want us to do about this, and how can we honor God in this thing? We’ve got a decision we need to make; we’ve got plans we need to make; we got things we need to figure out — whether it’s in our calendaring, or our communication, or our finances, in our marriage, in our parenting, in our careers — but we’re trying, okay Lord, how can we honor you? “This mystery is profound” — this husband-and-wife mystery is profound — “but I’m saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” It is pointing to something more; there’s something more going on here. So when Sarah and I are working through issues — and I’m going to share a bunch of topics of things that we have faced in just a moment, real things that we have faced — when we are working through these things, whether it’s marriage, parenting, family, whatever it is, it’s a witness to the world about Christ and the church.

And here’s how it’s explained: the ultimate picture of marriage is Christ and the church. In verse 24 it says, “as the church submits, so also wives should submit.” In verse 23, “the husband is the head, as Christ is the head.” So the picture of marriage — the best picture of marriage — is Christ and the church. And so when a husband’s a part of a marriage, it’s actually to point as a witness to the world towards Christ. And when a wife is a part of a marriage, it’s to point as a witness to the world regarding the church. When the Holy Spirit of God fills and affects a wife and a husband to live as husband and wife in a godly marriage, it points the world to Christ and the church. It’s a representation.

So it should ask the question then: well, if Christ is the head, what type of head is he? And this is what’s described in this passage. Verse 25: Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her. Verse 26: that he might sanctify her; having cleansed her. Verse 27: that he might present the church. Verse 29: nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. Christ is the perfect head. There is one perfect husband; his name is Jesus Christ. Christ is the perfect head.

Now, understanding that Christ is the standard, what do my wife and I do — what do we do as husbands and wives? Well, we have to encourage one another: even though we fall short of the perfect standard, let’s not quit, let’s not give up, let’s keep moving forward towards Jesus together. Let’s encourage one another; let’s move towards Christ.

This passage also explains that the ultimate purpose of the marriage is the glory of Christ. So in verse 22 it says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord” — the purpose is that Christ would be glorified. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church” — in verse 25, the purpose is that Christ would be glorified. It describes how Christ takes care of the church and encourages husbands to take care of a wife in the same way as Christ does the church — in verse 29, the purpose of marriage is that God would be glorified. So this passage is primarily about Jesus and the church — that Jesus would be glorified in the church.

And that leads us to the most important issue that a husband and a wife face: surrendering to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, for his glory and their good. This is the primary issue that every husband and wife faces; the most important issue is to surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, for his glory and their good. All other issues are sub-issues compared to this issue. But when we have this as the focus for a husband and a wife — for my wife and I — when our focus is, well, we want to keep coming back to the big primary issue, and that is we want God to be glorified in us — we know it’ll be best for us if God is glorified in us — then it helps give us perspective on how we deal with the sub-issues.

Our Story: Real Issues, Real Hope

And I want to share some with you. My wife and I, like I said, have been married for 25 years; we have nine children; we have welcomed children into our home through California foster care; we have five children who are adopted the good old-fashioned way. And the Lord has given us opportunity to face a lot together. What I’m about to share with you is not an exhaustive list, but it’s a pretty good one, and it’s all real things we’ve had to, as a husband who’s trying to follow Jesus and a wife who’s trying to follow Jesus — coming as a married couple who’s trying to follow Jesus, even though we trip and bump along the way. These are real subjects we have had to bring to the Lord to figure out what to do with: communication — learning how to talk to each other; intimacy — learning how to be near each other; anger — how to focus our frustrations; lust — misplaced sexual desire; fear — being terrified and frozen; anxiety — worried about the past, worried about right now, worried about what’s coming; running businesses together — man, that exposes the marriage; being broke — how are we going to handle being homeless; the way abuse has impacted our family; how trauma has been experienced in our family — how are we going to handle and honor the Lord as we’re working with child protective services; how are we going to follow Jesus and deal with the real issue of how marijuana has impacted our family; alcoholism; the many lawyers that we’ve had to deal with; the many days going to court; how are we going to handle, as followers of Jesus, the issue of jail and prison and rehab; pills; drugs; domestic violence; crime; drunk driving; relapse and repeat. That is not an exhaustive list of things — real things that my wife and I have had to face in our journey. These are real — part of our story. We are two imperfect people trying to figure it out: trying to figure out how to follow Jesus, trying to figure out how to be a married couple who follows Jesus, trying to figure out how to parent children and lead a family in a world that is full of sin, and it has impacted our family in a very, very, very serious and significant way.

Which leads us to the last part of this passage, and that is: there’s incredible hope in this passage. And this amazing hope for marriage is the grace of Christ to forgive sin. In verse 27 it says that “he might present the church to himself in splendor.” And my wife and I, as we go through and we face all these issues, we can come back to the truth that Jesus is going to do something in us to present us in splendor to him — without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. As we face hard issue after hard issue, dark moment after dark moment, bump, obstacle, roadblock one after another — God’s going to do something in our lives to make us without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. It’s hard to even consider, with the truth of the pieces of our story, how it’s possible that we could be holy and without blemish on our own. It is not. But in Jesus Christ it is, and he can do a work in us and in our marriage to make us holy and without blemish before him.

Maybe today you’re realizing today is your version of the trade deadline — and no, I’m not saying you should trade your spouse for another one — but you’re realizing you need to add a player to your team. You need the MVP on your team, and that MVP — his name is Jesus Christ. And redemption is possible for all of us to win in Jesus Christ. Jesus is our hope for the home team.

Sarah and I — we know failure. Sarah and I know pain. Sarah and I know guilt. Sarah and I know shame. We know all of those things face to face. And Sarah and I are convinced that Jesus Christ has saved our marriage. Jesus is our hope for our home team, and Jesus can be your hope for your home team. And if there are things that I have shared today where our story is connecting with you — our story is touching your story, and you’re recognizing, that is absolutely what I need: I need the hope of Jesus Christ for our home team — and you are here and you need prayer, I would like to pray for you right now, and all you need to do is stand up, and I’m going to pray for you. And as you stand, my wife and I stand with you, recognizing that Jesus is our hope for the home team, and Jesus knows exactly what you have going on, and I’m going to pray for you right now — so just stand.

Father God, I pray for those who are standing, who are recognizing that they need you. There’s people popping up all over this worship gathering right now, recognizing that they need you, Lord. They need your hope. They’ve got something going on that’s bigger than themselves, and they need to trust in you. So God, as my wife and I have walked through these difficulties and we have found that our unwavering hope can only be in Jesus Christ — Lord, I pray for my friends who are standing, that they might discover the same thing: they might discover their unwavering hope is only in Jesus Christ. Lord, that we together, as we stand collectively, we would recognize that Jesus is our hope for the home team. So God, I pray blessing over my friends who are standing. I stand with them; we stand before you together, and we do this to honor you. We pray this in Jesus’ name. And all God’s family said, “Amen.”