There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, or smarter. Seek nothing outside of yourself. My advice I would give is don’t listen to anyone. Don’t listen to me. Don’t listen to anybody. Don’t listen to anyone. The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing. I was elected to lead, not to read. I don’t need you or anybody else. I’m going to make it on my own. Truth depends on your point of view.

Good morning. Welcome to Big Valley Grace. I’m glad that you’re here. If it’s your brand new first time, my name is Joel. I’d love to meet you. Normally right after the gathering I’m standing right down here, but today I’m going to be at Discover BVG. So if you’re new, just come out one of those doors there, head to the room right behind here, and we’ll have lunch and I’d love to meet you. That’s where I’ll be after the service. If you’re new or newish and you’d like to get connected here, we’d love to have you come to Discover BVG. We’re really glad that you’re here. We hope that today is very important for you and that this is a significant moment in your life.

I don’t know if you can relate to that video — what’s happening in our world right now, the concept of self-sufficiency and an unwillingness to listen to what anyone else has to say. It’s all about my thoughts and my feelings and my experience and my truth and my version of however it is I see the world. Can you relate to that with our culture?

Well, I used to think that way. I used to think I could think whatever I wanted to think, say whatever I wanted to say, treat people however I wanted to treat them, and behave however I wanted to behave. And then God did something. He brought a woman into my life named Sarah. And I found out I can’t just think however I want to think. I can’t just say whatever I want to say. I can’t just treat people however I want to treat them. I can’t just act however I want to act.

And God used a woman named Sarah to crack me wide open and help me understand that I needed a real, genuine, legitimate relationship with God. And as that happened in my life and in Sarah’s life, God began to change the way we thought, changed the way we spoke to one another, changed the way we treated one another, changed the way we behaved with one another. And God started a process of transformation that has been going on now for a very long time to change us. And I’m so grateful that God got a hold of us and took us from a place of selfish self-sufficiency into a place of relationship — relationship based on love.

We can all lose sight of why we get into a relationship with someone in the first place. And it’s not just about marriage. It’s about family — parents and siblings and children and friends and people we’re in relationship with. We can forget that we love them. When we first meet people, it’s really easy to like them because we don’t know all their junk yet. And then we get to know them, we see the ugliness, and we can forget to love. We can fail to love.

One of the things God has done in Sarah and me is he’s given us some tools. I’m going to share three of them with you. The first tool is that we date. We go on dates. For years we dated on Friday mornings — free babysitting, kids are at school. Now we date on Wednesday mornings. So if you ask to meet with me on Wednesday morning, I’m going to tell you no. It’s a hard no. I’m dating my wife. And you know what I found out about dating? No matter how much money I spend on dating my wife, it’s way cheaper than therapy.

Another tool we use is the business meeting. In the business meeting, we talk about schedules, finances, and communication. We agree on things and we disagree on things and we hash it all out. And you know something we’ve learned? Super bad idea to mix the date and the business meeting together. Super bad plan.

The third tool we utilize is we have a plan for our life, a plan for our family. The last big picture plan we put together was in 2018. And it’s amazing to look back and see how much of that plan — the plan we felt the Lord was leading us to — has come about. In fact, this year in July, my wife and I are going to be taking extended time off and we’re going to put another plan together for the next big season of our life. A lot’s changed since 2018 in our family.

One of the things we’ve come to realize is that when we’re looking at the big picture plan and we see things aren’t going according to plan, we can usually point back to the fact that we haven’t done a good job with the business meeting — agreeing and disagreeing and hashing out the issues regarding finances and schedule and communication. And when the business meeting hasn’t gone well, we can usually point back to the fact that we’ve forgotten to date one another. We’ve forgotten to remind ourselves of how we got into this relationship in the first place — that we actually liked each other, that it was based on love.

In the same way that we can forget why we’re in relationship with one another and forget to love, what God does in this passage is remind us that the relationship started in love, which led to some agreements that were in support of the big picture plan. But the big picture plan’s not going so well. So we’ve got to come back to this agreement, because there’s some disagreement about the agreement — and you’ve got to remember this whole thing started because of love.

In Hosea chapter four is where we’re going to be today. If you have a Bible, I’d encourage you to turn to Hosea chapter four. If you need a Bible, come to the prayer room right after the gathering. Our team will be there — if you need prayer or a Bible, we’ve got them and we want to give one to you.

Hosea chapter four, beginning of verse one: “Hear the word of the Lord, O children of Israel, for the Lord has a controversy with the inhabitants of the land.” God’s saying, “Listen up. I’ve got an issue with you. I’ve got a disagreement, a controversy with you.” This is a picture of God saying, “Look, the big picture plan’s not going according to plan. So we’ve got to get back into that business meeting, because I’ve got some disagreement with you. We’ve got to get to a place of agreement, because you have forgotten that this whole thing started from a place of love.” This is a picture of a courtroom — God calling his people into a courtroom because he’s got an issue to work out with them.

Church family, I just want you to know as we get into this that my heart has been so sad all week because of this passage. This passage is a super hard text and we’re going to need a lot of help. As I prepared, it stirred up a lot of things in my own life. It reminded me of a lot of places of controversy in my own story. And I think it’s going to do the same for you. We’re living in a world right now that is in major controversy — nation against nation, big-time controversies all around us. We need God’s help as we look at this.

Let me pray for us. Father God, Lord, your word is powerful and it is true. I pray that your word would crack us open today and reveal the work you want to do in us. We need your help as we’re going to look at a passage where you initiate a conversation because there is controversy. Help us to understand what that means for us and our relationships. What that means for us living in a world that has controversy all around it. We need your help, God, and I’m asking for it. In Jesus’ name. And all God’s family said, Amen.

Hear the word of the Lord, O children of Israel, for the Lord has a controversy with the inhabitants of the land. How did the nation of Israel start anyway? They weren’t a nation. They were nobody. And God took a person and said, “I’m going to make a nation out of you.” They weren’t a nation until God made them a nation. They didn’t have a land until God gave them a land. And God’s saying, “I’ve got a controversy with you, the inhabitants of the land.” That land is important to God and it is still important to God. Washington D.C. is not the center of the world. Jerusalem is. That land is still very important to God. It was in October that we picked out the series to go through Hosea. It was in November that we picked this passage for this weekend. And now we get to this week and guess what? There is controversy regarding this land in our world this week. It is still happening.

The first area of controversy is a failed marriage. God’s saying, “I’ve got an issue with you and it is a failed marriage.” In the end of verse one: “There is no faithfulness or steadfast love, no knowledge of God in the land.” The people were supposed to be in a marriage covenant with God — faithfulness, love, knowledge of one another. And God’s saying, “You failed. We have a failed marriage. I was supposed to be your God. You were not supposed to have any other gods but me. And you went and had idols — small-g gods.”

In the beginning of the book of Hosea, in the first three chapters, it focuses on Hosea’s family and his marriage and how that relates to the nation. Now God is speaking directly to the nation: we’ve had a failed marriage. And we experience the same thing when a marriage fails. It’s super sad. We’re walking with many in our church who are experiencing failure in marriage, and it hurts and it’s hard. I have never met a person who said, “You know what? I’m really glad that when I was in third grade my parents got divorced.” Nobody wins in divorce. Nobody wins in a failed marriage.

If you are here and you have experienced a failed marriage, I love you. The Lord loves you. The Lord knows what it is to enter into a covenant and have it fail. The Lord knows your pain. The Lord knows your suffering. And we want to help you. We want to help you find healing in Jesus Christ. And we’re glad that you’re here.

The text goes on to talk about a failed family. The Lord says, “I’ve got a controversy with the inhabitants of the land.” The next controversy explains the failed family. In verse two, it describes what this family is doing: “There is swearing and lying, murder, stealing, committing adultery. They break all bounds and bloodshed follows bloodshed.” When God set up the nation of Israel, he set them up to be a family and said, “Hey, we’re going to have some rules in this family.” Ten of them. Ten commandments. One, two, three, four, five, six of them are being broken just in that verse. “Our family has forgotten our family values. Our family has forgotten our family rules. They’re breaking all bounds.”

And when we experience a failed family, we experience the same thing. It’s devastating. I know what it is to have brokenness in my family. It’s so painful. The suffering is deep. If you are here and you have experienced a failed family, I love you. The Lord loves you. The Lord knows what it is to set up a family and to experience failure in that family. The Lord knows your pain. And we want to help you find healing in Jesus Christ. We are glad that you are here.

The Lord goes on to share the next controversy: a failed home. In verse three: “Therefore the land mourns, for the Lord has a controversy with the inhabitants of the land.” The land was the promised land — it was the home he provided for the people. “Therefore the land mourns… and all who dwell in it languish… and also the beasts of the field and the birds of the heaven and even the fish of the sea are taken away.” He’s saying this land — everything living in this land — is suffering because it’s a failed home.

Think about it this way. When the flood happened in the time of Noah, the fish did great — water everywhere. And the Lord’s saying, “This is worse than the flood.” Because even the fish of the sea are being taken away. That’s how bad it has gotten. It’s worse than the flood.

This is a picture of dysfunction junction — hurt and pain, and everyone’s impacted. And when we experience a failed home, the same thing happens for us. It is horrible to experience a failed home. I know what it’s like to be in a house where it feels like a war zone, like there are enemies trying to hurt one another. And if you are here and you have experienced a failed home, I want you to know that I love you and the Lord loves you. The Lord knows what it is to set up a home and to see it fail — to provide for a home and to watch it fail. He knows that pain. He knows that suffering. And we want to help you find healing in Jesus Christ. We are glad that you are here.

The Lord says, “I’ve got a controversy with the inhabitants of the land” — and the next thing he brings up is a failed leadership. In verses four through nine, he explains the failed leadership. He says, “Yet let no one contend and let none accuse, for with you is my contention, O priest.” He’s saying, “The priest who’s supposed to be leading — I’ve got a problem with you. I’ve got a disagreement with the way you’re leading.” Verse five: “You shall stumble by day. The prophet also shall stumble with you by night.”

You know what? Sometimes I really wish God would not give me really good illustrations. It was on Tuesday morning. I woke up. It was dark in my house. We use these little door stoppers so the doors don’t slam when the wind blows through. We’ve already got kids slamming doors — we’re trying to reduce that. So I wake up Tuesday, it’s totally dark, I walk through the house, I open a door, it gets stuck on the door stopper, and I went face first into the edge of the door — full speed ahead in the dark. It just smacked me. I hit the ground. I’m screaming. I wake my wife up. She’s like, “What’s your problem?” I’m like, “Everything’s my problem.” She’s like, “Where are you hurting?” “Everywhere.” Oh man. I got smacked in the face with nine feet of wood. It was horrible.

“You shall stumble by day. The prophet also shall stumble by night.” Your leadership is going to be stumbling like you’re walking around in the dark getting smacked in the face with a door because you can’t see where you’re going. Your leadership is failing.

“And I will destroy your mother.” What does that mean? I think there are a couple ways we can look at this. In the book of Hosea, he’s already talked about the people of Israel as children and the nation as a whole as a mother. So one reading is: your nation is going to be destroyed. Also, the priesthood was a lineage — a family gig. He might also be saying, “I’m going to take away that family line of priesthood from you.”

Verse six: “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me.” You’re supposed to know me and you’re supposed to know my word. The leadership is supposed to make that happen. But the leadership is not causing you to know me or my word. “And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I will also forget your children.” God had made promises: if you obey me, I’m going to bless your kids, your kids’ kids, your generations to follow. And he’s saying, “You’re not obeying me. The leadership is not causing people to know me and know my word. And guess who’s going to suffer? Your kids.”

“The more they increased, the more they sinned against me. I will change their glory into shame.” God blessed the nation — be fruitful and multiply, grow and grow and grow and have my blessing. And as they grew bigger and bigger, they sinned more and more. The bigger they got, the more they sinned.

Verse eight: “They feed on the sin of my people. They are greedy for their iniquity.” Let me explain this one. In the sacrificial system, when someone sinned, they would bring an animal sacrifice to the Lord, and the priest would get a portion of that sacrifice for themselves. So what this is describing is that the priests became glad that the people were sinning — because that meant people brought animal sacrifices, and the priests got to take some for themselves. You know what they’re not going to do? Try to get people to stop sinning. Because if people keep sinning, they keep bringing sacrifices — and the priests can get rich off their sin.

“And it shall be like people, like priest. I will punish them for their ways and repay them for their deeds.” The way the people are acting, the leadership is acting. The way the leadership is acting, the people are acting. They’re all in this together. And it’s a big mess. And they are going to be punished.

We experience the same thing when we experience failed leadership. It is brutal when leadership doesn’t follow the Lord, when leadership doesn’t encourage other people to follow the Lord, when people don’t expect leadership to follow the Lord — it’s just bad all the way around. And I’m guessing everybody in this room has experienced the impact of failed leadership. It hasn’t been good.

If you’re here and you’ve been hurt by failed leadership, I love you. The Lord loves you. And the Lord knows what it is to put a leader in place and have that leader fail. The Lord knows the pain of failed leadership. And we want to help you. We want to help you get the help you need to find healing in Jesus Christ. And we are really glad that you’re here.

The Lord says, “I’ve got a controversy with the inhabitants of this land.” And the last one is a failed religion. In verses ten through nineteen, he describes the failed religion. “They shall eat but not be satisfied. They shall play the whore but not multiply, because they have forsaken the Lord to cherish whoredom, wine, and new wine, which take away the understanding.” He’s describing this situation: I blessed you. You took all my blessings and you used them to go sin. And it’s gotten so bad that you are intoxicated with your sin. You just can’t get enough. It’s like you are addicted to your sin.

Verse twelve: “My people inquire of a piece of wood and their walking staff gives them oracles.” He’s saying, “You made something out of wood and then asked its opinion.” A spirit of whoredom has led them astray — they have left their God to pursue idols. You made something out of wood, you worshiped it like it was God, and you asked it for direction for your life.

“They sacrifice on the tops of mountains and burn offerings on the hills, under the oak, the poplar, and the terebinth, because their shade is good.” He’s describing the failed religion: you go to the highest mountain because you think the higher you get the closer you are to God. And then it got too hot, so you found a nice shady tree and practiced your failed religion there. He’s saying: this is so silly. This is what you’ve done.

And then it gets sharp and hard. “Therefore your daughters play the whore and your brides commit adultery. I will not punish your daughters when they play the whore, nor your brides when they commit adultery, for the men themselves go aside with prostitutes and sacrifice with cult prostitutes. And a people without understanding shall come to ruin.” He’s saying: your women are doing these things because they learned them from the men. And the men aren’t doing the right thing. So I’m not going to discipline the women, because the men are the root of the problem.

Verse fifteen: “Though you play the whore, O Israel, let not Judah become guilty.” The northern ten tribes of Israel are doing the wrong thing. And God is saying to Judah, the southern kingdom: don’t do what Israel is doing. Don’t follow their example. Don’t go up to Gilgal or Beth-aven — references to where Israel set up two golden calves so people would not go to Jerusalem to worship the Lord in the temple. Don’t do that. Beth-aven — it was originally called Bethel, which means house of God. Beth-aven means house of wickedness. Don’t do what they’ve done — turning the house of God into a house of wickedness.

“Like a stubborn heifer, Israel is stubborn. Can the Lord now feed them like a lamb in a broad pasture?” It’s saying: this is like a really difficult heifer who’s moving backwards in the yoke instead of working together and moving forward. You’re so stubborn. You’re so difficult. I’d like to put you in a pasture like a lamb — give you plenty to eat, plenty of room — but you just won’t have it.

“Ephraim is joined to idols. Leave them alone.” Don’t go be like them. “When their drink is gone, they give themselves to whoring. Their rulers dearly love shame.” Everybody is working together to do the wrong thing. It’s a horrible situation.

Verse nineteen: “A wind has wrapped them in its wings and they shall be ashamed because of their sacrifices.” You are in a hurricane of sin — like the Tasmanian devil, just spinning out of control. The whole situation is bad. You are totally wrapped up in your sin. It is carrying you away like a hurricane.

And we experience the same thing when we come into contact with a failed religion. Church family — I am sorry. So many of you have told me how you have come out of a cult. I am so sorry that the name of the Lord was used to abuse you. That someone used the name of the Lord to cause you to suffer and to bring hurt and pain into your life. And I am sorry. I know who you are. I have heard your stories and my heart is broken for you and for the pain you have experienced.

May we be a people who praise the name of the Lord and serve him with a whole heart. If you have experienced the pain and suffering of a failed religion, I love you. The Lord loves you. The Lord knows what it is to set up something good and to have someone come and twist it, manipulate it, and turn it into something really evil. The Lord knows. He knows the pain you’ve experienced. And we want to help you. We want to help you find healing in Jesus Christ. And we are glad that you’re here.

This passage is super depressing. This is such a difficult passage. I just read you an entire chapter of scripture and there was not one positive thing in it. It’s super hard.

Here’s how I sum it up: we’re broken. We need to get help to stop wandering in failure. We are broken and we need help. And what I’m going to do is take some of the negatives from this passage and show how they point to the positive — what God gives us as instruction in his word so that we can not just focus on the problem, but see the clear solution. This passage is devastating. And I know what it did in my own life this week as I was preparing. And I’m guessing that the devastation in this passage is touching many of our lives today as well.

We need help. We’re broken. We need to get help to stop wandering in failure. So three verses from the chapter, and I’m going to show how the negative points to the positive — the problem points to the solution.

Verse one: “Hear the word of the Lord, O children of Israel, for the Lord has a controversy with the inhabitants of the land. There is no faithfulness or steadfast love and no knowledge of God in the land.” The problem is no faithfulness, no steadfast love, no knowledge of God. God clearly shows the problem, which helps us understand the solution: get help to know God.

If the problem is no faithfulness, no steadfast love, no knowledge of God — then the solution is get help to know God. Three verses deal directly with faithfulness, love, and knowledge of God.

First Corinthians 1:9: “God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord.” If the problem is no faithfulness, then we need to get help to know God, because God is faithful.

First John 4:16: “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” If the problem is there’s no steadfast love, then we need to get help to know God, because God is love.

Romans 8:31: “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” If the problem is no knowledge of God, then we need to get help to know God, because God is for us.

I don’t know where you’re at. I don’t know where you are in your pain right now. But if you are here and you need to hear that God is faithful, that God loves you, and that God is for you — please receive the message of that truth, and get help to know God.

The second verse is verse two. “There is swearing, lying, murder, stealing, committing adultery. They break all bounds and bloodshed follows bloodshed.” God shows us the problem. If the problem is all the boundaries are being broken, all the rules are being broken — then God shows us the solution: get help to know God’s ways. If the problem is all of God’s ways are not being followed, then the solution is get help to know God’s ways.

Three verses talk about the ways of the Lord. Psalm 18:21: “For I have kept the ways of the Lord and have not wickedly departed from my God.” How did they keep the ways of the Lord? Because they read the Bible and did what the Bible said. We have the ways of the Lord in our Bible.

Psalm 138:4–5: “All the kings of the earth shall give you thanks, O Lord. They have heard the words of your mouth, and they shall sing of the ways of the Lord, for great is the glory of God.” What we were doing earlier — singing — is singing about the ways of the Lord. We learn the ways of the Lord when we read our Bible and when we sing about the ways of the Lord. It helps us to learn them.

A little sneak peek to the end of the book of Hosea. Hosea 14:9: “Whoever is wise, let him understand these things. Whoever is discerning, let him know them. For the ways of the Lord are right, and the upright walk in them. But transgressors stumble in them.”

I don’t know what pain you’re in right now. I don’t know what suffering you’ve experienced. I don’t know what the brokenness of your story is. But maybe you were breaking all bounds. Maybe you were running headlong into sin. That is a problem. And God shows the solution: get help to know God’s ways. We want to challenge you to get help to know God’s ways so that you stop going headlong into sin and start walking in the ways of the Lord.

The third and last verse we’re going to look at is verse six: “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I will also forget your children.” Listen to these words — destroyed, rejected, reject, forgotten, forget. God is showing us the problem. And if that’s the problem, he also gives us the solution: get help to know God’s consequences, because God’s consequences are real.

Three verses explain how the consequences of God are actually helpful to our lives. Psalm 94:12–13: “Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O Lord, and whom you teach out of your law, to give him rest from the days of trouble until a pit is dug for the wicked.” Proverbs 3:11–12: “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” Hebrews 12:11: “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

I don’t know what your story is. I don’t know your place of brokenness or your pain. But if you can relate to the problem, then I’m guessing the solution is for you. If you can identify the problem of what’s been happening in your life, God has a solution. And you need to get help to know God’s consequences.

Each week we’ve challenged you to take one of these cards and answer a question. Here’s the question I’m going to challenge you to write on the card today: What step are you taking to grow in your faith? Where do you need to get help? Don’t put your name on it — just answer the question. And then I want to challenge you to put it on the wall in the lobby. Here’s why. You will be accountable to yourself when you write it down. You will be accountable to God when you write it down. And you will be accountable to your church family when you go put it up. No one’s going to know it’s your card — don’t put your name on it, that’d be dumb, don’t do that. But you’re going to be accountable to your church family. And you need accountability. If you need to get help, then you need accountability.

Look, if you can relate to the brokenness here — we are broken, we need to get help to stop wandering in failure — then here’s the path: one, get help to know God. Two, get help to know God’s ways. Three, get help to know God’s consequences. Get help. Stop wandering in failure and start walking in faithfulness.

This is a super tough passage. This is hard. I’m teaching this passage out of obedience. It’s difficult. And I’m trusting that in the difficulty of this passage, there are people here today who need to hear it — because the difficulty of their life matches the difficulty of this passage. And God is going to use his word to do something incredible. I’m trusting that God is going to use the difficulty of this passage to do something amazing in someone’s life.

It breaks the heart of God that Hosea 4 is in the scripture. And it breaks the heart of God that the difficulty you have experienced is in your life. It breaks the heart of God that you have experienced failure in your relationships, or whatever has been stirred up from this passage. It breaks the heart of God. And we want to help you.

I love you. The Lord loves you. We love you and we want to help you. We want to help you get the help that you need. A super practical way to do that is — in just a few minutes there’s going to be Discover BVG. You can bring your kids, we’ve got something for you to eat, and we can help you get the help that you need. We are honored to have you here. We are honored to walk alongside you. And we love you. We want to help you find healing in Jesus.

Father God, Lord, thank you for your word. Thank you for the difficulty of this passage. Thank you for the controversy. Thank you for what it stirs up in my own life. God, thank you for what it stirred up in our lives together. God, there is controversy in our world that is real. I pray for brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ who are all around this planet in serious danger right now. God, I pray that you would protect them and get them through the danger they’re facing. Lord, we need you desperately. And I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.